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The Ten Commandments of Java

David Wallace Croft


"We believe in Java the language, but not Java the religion."
  -- Bill Gates the Heretic, 1997 June 17th

The Ten Commandments of Java

20:01  And Jahveh spake all these words, saying, 
20:02  I am Jahveh thy God, which have brought thee out of the
       land of non-portable code, out of the house of bondage. 
20:03  Thou shalt have no other languages before me. 
20:04  Thou shalt not make unto thee any binary image, or any
       likeness of any thing that is in an OS API above, or that
       is in the system internals beneath, or that is in the
       native code under the implementation. 
20:05  Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them:
       for I Jahveh thy God am a jealous God, visiting the
       iniquity of the original developers upon the legacy
       systems integrators unto the third and fourth version of
       them that hate me; 
20:06  And shewing just-in-time compilation unto thousands of
       them that love me, and keep my commandments. 
20:07  Thou shalt not take the contract of Jahveh thy God in
       vain; for courts will not hold him guiltless that
       breaches his contract in vain. 
20:08  Remember the core API, to keep it holy. 
20:09  In other packages shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: 
20:10  But the java.* package hierarchy is the code of Jahveh thy
       God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy
       chief technologist, nor thy developers, thy researchers,
       nor thy hackers, nor thy interns, nor thy contractor that
       is within thy gates: 
20:11  For in the core API Jahveh made abstract methods and
       interfaces, the super classes, and all that in them is,
       and required the specification:  wherefore Jahveh 
       blessed the open development process, and hallowed it.
20:12  Honour thy Sun and thy JavaSoft: that thy product may be
       long upon the market which Jahveh thy God giveth thee. 
20:13  Thou shalt not kill the JNI and the RMI.
20:14  Thou shalt not adulterate the APIs.
20:15  Thou shalt not steal market share through unfair
20:16  Thou shalt not bear false witness to support Jahveh
       and then renege.
20:17  Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's prospective
       economic advantage, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's
       trademark, nor his logo, nor his developers, nor his
       stock, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. 

David Wallace Croft, Priest of Java

Author: David Wallace Croft, 1997
Copyright released by the author to the Public Domain.

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